Perhaps automated voice response phone systems should have an extra option that allows callers to listen to meditation tapes. It seems I’m not the only one that gets instantly hot-under-the-collar when I encounter one.

One reader recommends “playing dumb” with the recorded systems. “If you can't get to a live agent by pressing ‘0’, hang up. Call back, let it answer and then don't send any touch-tones at all. Play dumb. Most systems will badger you three to four times before they give up and send you to an agent queue. Although I don't think there's any legal requirement for them to support rotary dial phones, there may be an ADA requirement,” he says.

I tried this method with a cell phone company that I needed to end my contract with. The automated voice asked me for my 10-digit phone number. I pretended not to have it and after several attempts the system hung up on me. So much for playing dumb.

Another reader says, “Although I haven't figured out a way to bypass them (now that the ‘0’ option has been removed) I found I can get more done while I'm waiting by wearing a wireless headset.  This way both my hands are free to type or whatever and being wireless I can walk around my office, or even go to the kitchen while still on hold.”

However, she points to online services as an alternative: “The only way to avoid the phones is to go online (if possible) and send questions/problems through the company e-mail. I find most are able to respond within a day or less, and my problem gets resolved with me explaining it only once.  Of course, this won't work for all companies, but some are pretty prompt.  Naturally if you need the answer now, now, now, e-mail won't suffice.”

Many respondents were cynical about whether companies use interactive voice response (IVR) systems to increase efficiencies.  Says one: “I don't believe the intent of automated phone systems has anything to do with increasing efficiency. It's a simple way to eliminate one live person (with a paycheck, benefits, 401K, etc.) from the payroll. I certainly agree with you that it is a far less efficient and satisfactory process for the consumer.”

Another reader says: “AMEN!!! Seems as if all businesses, large and small, have gone mad with these darn automated attendants! Have you noticed the latest generation of these systems endeavor to sound more human-like?  In fact, just today, I called Apple for support (I’m a new Mac owner). Their phone system actually apologized for not understanding my spoken commands. I deliberately mumbled the next few commands to see what it would do.  Evidently the system had little patience.  It transferred me directly to a human. For those keeping count, that’s one for me, naught for the stupid phone system!”