There's really not a much gentler way to phrase it: The biggest name in breakfast foods and among the most iconic names in toys have put their ingenuity and marketing genius together to create a fruit-flavored treat -- LEGO Fun Snacks -- that is so mind-numbingly irresponsible that at first I presumed it was a joke.
We're talking about a children's snack shaped like the tiny plastic building blocks that every kid fortunate enough to have toys has put in his or her mouth at one time or another -- or a hundred. (The only thing my kids like better than LEGOS is watching videos of "Star Wars" characters made out of LEGOS.)
The Web site Penny Arcade threw the penalty flag yesterday:
I would love to know what sick (person) at Kellogg's came up with this genius idea. I just spent the first three years of my son's life trying to get him not to eat blocks, and now you're telling him they taste like strawberries. Thanks a lot. Seriously, how in the hell did this ever get past their legal department? You can't tell me that this isn't a lawsuit just waiting to happen. I can only assume that their next product is fruit flavored thumbtacks.
My initial thought was that it had to be some kind of hoax or Onion story, but a jump over to the Kellogg's Web site showed that's not the case.
The mere idea of a LEGO-shaped snack reminded me of this hilariously effective 2004 Super Bowl commercial that pilloried the tobacco industry.
When I sent the Penny Arcade link around the office this morning, other parents were quick to offer their own ideas for killer snacks: Paint Chip Flakes and Chewable Barbie Shoes being my favorites.
There's a wide-ranging discussion of the matter over at Reddit.
And, if training children to eat plastic blocks isn't enough to rile you, there's another major flaw with this LEGO/Kellogg's product: The gelatinous blocks do not stack, a design flaw highlighted in this video by a couple of foul-mouthed grownups.
While a little Googling shows that the two companies have been taking relatively mild flack about this product since at least last year, here's a prediction: LEGO Fun Snacks won't be on grocery shelves for much longer.
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Where's Irwin Mainway when you need him?
From his exclusive interview on Consumer Probe:
Kellogg's visitor survey.
Having verified that the "Lego fun snacks" product was indeed real, I typed "more vile shit" into the Kellogg's advanced search box, and was relieved to discover that "We did not find any results containing: more vile shit". However, I suspect that this assurance needs to be taken with a grain of salt. And maybe with a few assorted springs and ball-bearings and an arm from a Barbie doll.
I was then, fortuitously, invited to take part in a website visitor survey. Great! Was there anything I had been looking for on the site, and had been unable to find? Yes, "an assurance that you won't be selling snacks shaped like Lego blocks in the future". If there is one change you could make to the site to improve it, what would it be? "Shut it down".
I hope they got the message.
I'm even eating some right now
Here's a thought. If you kid isn't smart enough to stack blocks without choking, your kid shouldn't be playing with legos.
Alternatively Lego fruit snacks can both be stacked and eaten. So it's safer for your child to play with them. So go buy a box and realize how pathetically ignorant you've been.
I'd have to agree.... if
I'd have to agree.... if they weren't so delicous. Seriously did you even *taste* them before you unleashed? Blockity goodness!
Seriously?
If you're worried that your child might think that they're real Legos, then he/she is NOT old enough to be eating fruit snacks.
But younger siblings learn
But younger siblings learn by example.
lego fruit snacks is
lego fruit snacks is obviously nature's way of thinning the herd
You're being too harsh...
This is nothing new, I've been around these candies for years. Safeway used to carry them in their bulk bins, and while I'm not sure if they still do, those candies never once made me want to eat my Lego.
I'm sure these will make it harder for young children to discern what to eat and what not too, but YOU as responsible adults should be supervising your young children at all times. You're babies/toddlers/young children shouldn't be left alone long enough to put small things in their mouths anyway.
If you're that concerned about it, don't buy this product. And if you're still concerned, but still buy it here's an idea. Store your child's small toys away in plastic containers well out of their reach. This will prevent them from gaining access to them. You can also sit down with your child and explain to them why eating the Kellogg's snack is okay, and why eating their Lego bricks isn't.
In response to your above comment on the shelf life of this product, I see it going either way. On the one hand, there may be an uproar from concerned parents, and the product will fade away. On the other hand, this could be a roaring success and kids everywhere will love this snack. (Let's not factor in all of the teen parents out there who either don't have the experience or don't care enough to not buy these for their kids).
In the end, it's up to you guys to make your final decision, and I'm certainly not telling you how to parent. I'm just making informed suggestions from a third party point of view. I'm sure you'll ask me if I'd buy these for my kids... And the answer is yes. I trust that my children would be smart enough to tell the difference.
That concludes this saga, and I look forward to your rebuttals, and/or support.
I agree 100%
It really is that simple. You've nailed it.
Oh come on already...
Are you serious?
The kid WILL put anything in his/her mouth, whatever the shape or taste is. That's what baby does. Parent's job? Teach the kid that the toy is not to be eaten. And you should buy baby sized huge legos for him anyways.
When he grows to know not to stick into his mouth, he just won't! Even if he have eaten the lego shaped cereal.
You got to be kidding that you thought something different.
I don't know where this country is going. That's why we need lawyers everywhere, and why companies need to pass every single thing through them.
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