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Tech Valentines from Hell

Cisco, Apple and Google execs get into Valentine’s Day spirit
Yankee Ingenuity By Howard Anderson , Network World , 02/08/2008
Howard Anderson
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An errant Valentine Mail Server inadvertently forwarded me a bunch of Valentines for other people. Given your quirky nature, I thought I would share.

To: Larry Ellison, Oracle CEO
From: Larry Ellison

“Roses Are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
There is No One I Love,
As Much as You”

To: Kevin Martin FCC chairman
Fr: Brian Roberts, Comcast CEO

“Want us to go
to ‘Smorgasbord' cable?
Your home connection
We just disabled”

To: Gary Forsee, ex-CEO, Sprint
From: Sprint customers

“Sprint and Nextel,
Nextel and Sprint,
Our Service is so Awful,
Our Remarks Please don't Print”

To: Nicholas Negroponte, One Laptop Per Child chairman
Fr: Paul Otellini, Intel CEO

“Roses Are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
You hate Me,
I hate you”

To: Steve Jobs, Apple CEO
From: God

Your Iphone I Love
Your IMac's the Way,
But even I rested,
The Seventh Day”

To: 130,000 downsized employees
Fr: Sam Palmisano, IBM CEO

“Your Job's OK,
Your Job's Secure,
Just be ready to move,
To Bangalore”

To: Carly Fiorina, ex-HP CEO
Fr: Mark Hurd, current HP CEO

“Some are Called,
Some are Chosen,
You Showed me the way,
Your Pension's Frozen”

To: John Chambers, Cisco CEO
Fr: The Cisco Users Group

“Your Technology is Great,
It's Really a Buy,
Your Service is so High,
I could just cry”

To: Joe Tucci, EMC CEO
Fr: Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO

“You're ticking me off,
I'm calling a cop,
This virtualization stuff
Has got to stop”

To: Steve Ballmer
Fr: Jerry Yang

"$31 is an Insult!
But $35 Would Be Nice
I'll Forgive the Insult,
Just Meet My Price"

To: Jerry Yang
Fr: Steve Balmer

"A 62% Premium!
Our Bid Has Not Changed,
If Google Goes Higher,
They Must Be Deranged"

To: Sergey Brin (Google co-founder)
Fr: Larry Page (Google co-founder)

“Everyone thinks we're
Joined at the Hip,
Stop hogging the G-5
Or get a Fat Lip”

To: Paul Jacobs, CEO, Qualcomm
Fr: Broadcom

“Roses Are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
Thank God you are around,
We need Someone to Sue”

To: Jeff Bezos, CEO, Amazon.com
Fr: Kindle Users Everywhere

“Kindle's OK,
It's not an E-reader,
A portable Web Browser,
Would be a crowd pleaser”

To:Jeff Zucker, NBC Universal CEO
Fr: Kip Compton, Cisco's IPTV chief

“Apple and Slingshot,
Xbox and Tivo,
Your Future is so over,
Does the GE Chair even Know?”

To: Jim Crowe, Level 3 CEO
Fr: Ivan Seidenberg, Verizon CEO

“You lived through the Downs,
Was the worst really over?
I want your market,
Time to hand it Over”

To: Bill Gates, Microsoft chairman
Fr: the Pope

“The Nobel's a Lock,
They gave one to Gore,
Hold out For Saint Hood,
Then ask for More”

To: Ray Ozzie, Microsoft CTO
Fr: Microsoft users

“You got the Cat Seat,
You're Making Big Bread,
Good Luck to you,
The Desktop's so Dead”

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