Tinsel and telecom tips
Everyone would agree that it's been a tough year for the IT industry. But that's no reason to be a telecom Scrooge.We have some handy hints that ho-ho-hopefully will jump-start the telecom industry this holiday season.
First, some telecom decorating tips. Instead of those boring wires in red, green, yellow and black, try a festive array in maroon, sea-green, goldenrod and midnight.
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Speaking of colors, get those red and green LED lights off your telephone company equipment and put them on your tree or house. The flashing red warning lights used to drive you crazy in the network operating center; now they'll make you smile.
Tired of having to throw out all those free CDs from AOL? With a little glue and some creativity, you can design a contemporary wreath that will be sure to turn heads in your neighborhood. They also make lovely coasters.
Good food will lighten up any occasion - including those "we need to downsize the company" gatherings. That old heat-producing ATM switch is perfect for baking a mouth-watering brisket.
If you plan to serve Chinese food to your guests, your satellite dish easily converts into a great wok. Or impress your friends by mixing your telecom terminology with your kitchen creations. Who will be able to resist menu items like Gravy over IP (Idaho Potatoes) and candy/baked goods convergence (fruitcake)?
Uncertain of what to do with that old technology? Here are some timely recycling tips.
Want to turn that outdated PC into a conversation piece? Simply convert your old monitor into a vivid aquarium, adding some flavor of the 21st century to any room. And don't throw away that old switch! Remove the blades and use the chassis for a high-tech trash can.
Every woman needs that perfect piece of jewelry to complement her holiday season party dress. The pre-Pentium processor broach is the perfect accessory.
Wondering what to do with those worthless DSL local exchange carrier (DLEC) stock certificates? Why not use them as kindling for your hearth. If that doesn't light your candle, you could shellac them and turn them into a whimsical telecom mobile. Your depression will drift away gazing at the only "high-flying" DLEC stock available.
For the gift giver this year, forget that traditional wrapping paper. Instead, take the housings from your old routers, servers or PCs - take the guts out of each device - and then put presents inside. The kids will love taking out a screwdriver, Allen wrench or other tools to get to their presents.
We also have some helpful hints for dressing up technology. Cell tower cluttering your yard? Try stringing an assortment of lights around it, and you will have the largest and brightest holiday display in the neighborhood.
Instead of the boring, buried cable slogans, create entertaining signs for fiber right-of-way. You are sure to warm the hearts of people as they read placards labeled: "Warning: Children surfing below" or "Got 'Net access? If you dig here you won't."
Everyone shops for antiques these days, so instead of the predictable faceplate for your cell phone or PDA, consider needlepoint slip covers.
Speaking of wireless communication, have you been throwing away all your old cell phones or pagers? Shame on you. You can simply download holiday songs from the Internet on each phone/pager and place them throughout your house. For an added dose of holiday cheer, set up the devices to forward to one another. If you don't answer, as each device rings (plays the tune) it forwards the call and the next device plays its tune. No more silent nights - soon your house will be jingle-bell rockin'.
With these festive ideas, anyone can take the old and ordinary and turn it into a jolly display of seasonal cheer. Have some telecom holiday hints of your own that you would like to share? Let us know.
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Briere is CEO and Gage is Vice President of TeleChoice, the strategic catalyst for the telecom industry. They can be reached at telecomcatalyst@telechoice.com.
